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Tribute to Prince the Tortured Doberman
I Doberman that came into my life due his many demons and issues which he could not overcome...
Two months ago, we met under questionable circumstances... I came to meet you, and you bit me. When you did this, I pounced on you and pinned you to the floor... I took you home anyways, and I remember talking to you on our long drive home... Even though you were a jerk when we met, you were trying to get me to pet you, and were resting your head on my shoulder. You and I had no idea of what our short journey together would bring us. I had no idea of how much I would fall in love with you and your antics.
I brought you home to my pack, and it was all good. Every morning you woke me up at 6:30am sharp for cuddle time, and you were so affectionate toward us. We went hiking the first time, and I sat back in awe, while I watched you run, circling us at light speed. I have never witnessed such grace and beauty in any animal before I saw you galloping. I was thinking of what you reminded me of, with your graceful long arched neck and long elegant muzzle... you were a dragon, and you would sprout your wings when you ran... your feet hardly touched the ground. You rejoiced in this so much, I could tell you had never really been allowed to run free before. I am so happy to have granted you this life for the few weeks you were here with us. The first time you saw the deer out back was amazing... they had no idea of what was coming towards them, and I saw you bounding neck in neck with them all... stride for stride. No dog has ever done that before.
I don't know why we crossed paths and things had to end the way that they did. I know you were sent to me... but why did it have to end like this? I gave you every second of every day to teach you, to love you and to show you that life outside the home was not dangerous. I wish I could have given you more time... it just seemed that the more time that went by, the more fierce you got in ensuring nothing could reach us. You would turn from this sweet and loving boy, into a raging and terrifying machine... and would lash out at me for trying to prevent you from doing what you felt needed to be done. I looked at these things as set backs and we would try harder and work longer.
You had such a life force within you... so strong and wonderful. I know not many people saw you for what you were when you were safe indoors with me... and it makes me sad that people feared you, and you feared them. I know there will never be a dog that will be as loyal to me as you Prince. I know you would have laid you life down in a second for me... I realize there was no way to teach you that every living thing in the world was an ominous dangerous force that was out to get us.
The affection we shared was so special and real. I recall bending down to give you a hug and you jumped up and wrapped your paws around my neck, laid your head on my shoulder and melted into me. I know at that moment you gave me your very soul. There has never been a dog in my life that has been at my service the way you were. Anything I asked or desired, you would do before I finished asking you. You lived for my praise and to feel justified. You always was aware of what I was doing, and I would see your ears were up, and turning listening to my activities while it looked like you were sleeping peacefully.
Because of what we shared together and the love we felt for each other... at least I cannot say the time we shared was in vain. We had so much fun together. You kept me on my toes, between your counter surfing or learning how to open the front screen door. You were always so darned busy... and were such a morning dog. I secretly hated you for bouncing all over the house in the early hours, never tiring. I wish I had that energy and focus... I would be a much better human, if I had many of your wonderful qualities.
I will remember you for how you played with itty bitty Karma puppy... how you slept with the staffords piled onto the ottoman, and how your butt would be falling off, so you could fit. How you tried to be friends with Cyren and how she constantly rejected you and your antics... yet you still tried. How you would spoon with me in bed, with your head on my pillow, breathing in time with me. How you would rest your beautiful head on my legs and not budge while I petted you. You were the sweetest most affectionate complicated and regimented dog to ever cross paths with me.
I want you to know that I did understand you and cherish you. I would have kept you as a forever dog, but you started wanting to be the only dog in this house. I understand your loyalty and your greed in not wanting to share me... but we are a pack here, and I could not allow you to hurt one of our own. I really thought you were going to be okay. I was so freaking proud of you and how you passed your extensive evaluation with flying colors... I thought you were ready for a new life as an only dog.
I love you Prince... I love your spirit, your heart, your soul and your desire to please and serve and protect. I really hope you forgive me someday for what had to happen, since we all realized that you would never feel safe in the real world. If I could have sheltered you indoors all your life, it would not be fair, as you loved to run and experience life as it should be for a GOOD boy like you.
I want to tell you that you are a GOOD BOY!!! You will always be a GOOD BOY... when I think of you, I will always tell you in my mind that you are a GOOD BOY!!! Please don't ever forget this while you are on the other side, waiting for me. I hope you come and let me know you are doing alright and have nothing to fear ever again in your new safe, happy and peaceful world...
Please be nice to Diva, or she will beat your ass all the way back to this side though. I feel she has been around the last week, waiting for you to get to wherever you two both are now. I have many dog there, so you will not be alone... I cannot even begin to imagine how beautiful the seven of you are waiting at the bridge for me, playing. I am imagining all of you... five rotties, a pit bull and a doberman enjoying the breeze and running... What a beautiful sight. I wish you all could come and say hello and just tell me you are all peaceful and happy.
I love you Prince and always will. I hope I can better myself with knowing you, but it is taking me some time to figure out why you came into my life... only to end in a tragedy. Sometime humans are pretty stupid, so if you can let me know why you came to me, it would be a great ease of this horrible burden weighing in on me right now... Tell Sheena, Damian, Brodie, DIVA, Sabre and Chester that I miss them terribly and they are always in my thoughts, heart and soul... just like you always will be.